Aspectos Culturales: a caleb-shaped peg

It's pleasant.

Sitting here on my bed listening to the nightly rain shower, I can't help but feel that the weather here in Cuernavaca is about as good as it gets. I've been told that it's the rainy season, but here, the rainy season consists of beautiful sunny days and an ever-reliable hour-long rain storm every night just about the time I go to bed. Wherever I am in the house, I can always hear the first huge drops pummeling the pool cover and I know that I need to run on up the stairs and hop into bed soon so I can drift off to the rhythm (or aryhthm) of the rain through the windowscreens.

But tonight I think I'll be up a little later than the shower. I very much want to give a quick update on the Cuernavaca life. I've had two weeks now to get to know the place and a small fraction of its people and on the whole I really really like it.

First though, I must say that there are parts of me that just refuse to integrate into south-central Mexican society. An example. My first assignment in "Communication Skills" was to find out how to say "No" in Mexico. You see, in a lot of westernish places, it's understood that when a person declines an offer or advance with an English "no" they actually mean to decline said offer. When a girl says "no, i won't dance with you" the would-be partner understands that he is the won't-be. When a person says "no, I can't come to the party" the host crosses them off the list. In Mexico, a "no" often met with an intensified, more ardent plea to accept the original offer. Strange. And puzzling. Very interested in this peculiarity, I went to ask some Mexican friends from the Casa de Huespedes (guesthouse) about this tendency. Basically what they told me was that in Mexican culture (southern especially), giving a straight-up "No." is unacceptably rude. Therefore, when you say no, people simply infer that you are waiting to be persuaded because a nice person like you wouldn't be so uncouth. Surely you're just playing a hard sell.

Ok, a little cultural politeness I can handle. But the kicker was when my friends said that to actually make people understand that you are saying no you should say something along the lines of "We'll see..." or "Next time, for sure". People generally understand this to really mean no. When I heard this, I thought back on my journey through the republic and it became evident that it was indeed the truth. It struck me as mildly infuriating because it leaves you with an entire culture of people whose most effective way of saying "no" is to say "yes."

Now maybe I'm just hopelessly westernized, Americanized, Bruce Willisized, or what have you, but I like saying no. I like saying no and having that mean "negative, ghostrider, the pattern is full." The prospect of saying "yeah, I want to do that" to something I don't want to do leaves a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. I know I want the whole immersion shebang, but is it OK to conscientiously abstain from select parts of the culture? And would such a conscientious abstinence leave me here with no way to say "no?"

I like to say no.

I also like to have a beard. That's really not too cultural here either.

I also like to walk for miles and miles to get to know the lay of the land, the streets, the sights, smells, sounds and all the decent coffee shops. When I told my Mexican family and friends about a particularly long trek from my house to my school with 2 lonely pesos in my pocket they absolutely could not understand. Like such an endeavor had no basis in reality for them.

Alas, and not without some tacit satisfaction on my part, my brain does not function like a good Mexican brain. My heart does not beat like a good Mexican heart. Guess I'm not Mexican.

But one thing's for sure, my stomach might as well be 100% Mexicano! And food is culture. So the slate of cultural misgivings and incompatability is wiped clean at least 3 times every day!

Believe me, the gastronomy is not the only reason that I love being here in Mexico, and I can't wait to recount some of the great delights of living, working, exploring, and thinking here. But pardon me, the rain just began again and I am going to take full advantage of this wave of lullaby showers. Much Love. Goodnight.